The Back—And Front Stories
By Deborah Blackwell
Welcome to 2022! I’m taking a little turn, and even my own advice. Life coaching is fun, but so is storytelling, and I’ve got a few to share. I figure, why not? Sir Husband and I have nothing to hide. We’ve gone through the wringer since reuniting more than 13 years ago. Dragons, demons, all doing their darnedest to destroy something that is indestructible. Sounds corny, but it’s true. Love—unconditional—is amazing. But if we knew what life would bring when we got together, I wonder what we would have done differently.
Way back, when he had hair and mine was naturally brown, he drove me to school every day…along with my boyfriend. This was gut-wrenching for the young, sweet boy, who had his sights on me even at age 16. Long story short, we were BFFs but he was “friend-zoned,” and I wouldn’t budge. He was too nice! No teenage girl wants a boy who wants her. That isn’t fun. But his patience prevailed. Fast forward a couple of decades, marriages and divorces later, and voila. Wiser, marinated and seasoned by life, here we are. If someone had told me that this man would become my mirrored soul, who I’m sure I've spent lifetimes with, I would have laughed them off.
The thing is, every day is a mystery. Not just since the pandemic, which has blown most of us up, but really, every day in general. We get up, we put our feet on the floor, and we have no idea what the day will bring. This is supposed to be a good thing! But isn’t it a little scary?
If I told you the whole story, you wouldn’t believe it, and it would need to be a book (working on that.) So going forward, I will share the dribs and drabs of our life that are part of the present-moment mystery. Most of it eludes us, whether we fear it, or we push it away, or simply just don’t see it. It’s hard to welcome the unknown of existence, but that’s where life really happens. And, when we get bogged down, we may miss out on the magic.
Here are a few stories I’ll share:
Learning to Listen to My Body Because I F***’ing Had to.
Eastern Medicine Kicked My Western A**.
Going Gray Squelched My Soul.
Cat Tales: Musings From Meow.
My Mother’s Dance with Death.
Maybe these don’t sound too magical, but I assure you, comedy abounds. We just have to claim it.
The other day, my eldest called me to tell me he had quit his job. I knew he wasn’t happy about it, he was working with a few people who don’t share the same philosophies about health and safety that he does, and the “exposure” tipped his scales. At first I panicked. How would he survive? But a breath later, I was really proud of him. He stood up for his integrity, for what mattered to him, deep on the inside. I know the rest will follow.
His backstory is that life for him has been a challenge. Talk about mystery and magic, he overcame ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and has figured out not only how to manage, but how to endure. Thanks to him, I spent a good portion of my life doing special needs advocacy, a heartfelt calling I enjoy even today.
Everyone’s lives are interconnected, we all share the same desires—to be happy, to feel love, to survive and thrive. I hope that my stories going forward will help you feel good about whatever you desire, or at least give you some hope, inspiration, and maybe even a smile.
Some of you may remember my former blog chronicling real life as a mother of three boys, in a disastrous marriage—truth with a twist of comedy—because some days, “You just can't make this shit up.” A lot of life happened between then and now, which has, of course, influenced me today. I learned a lot, cried a lot, and changed a lot. But I’m still who I am at the core, where my inner fairy shines and hope always prevails. If you’re interested, stay tuned.