{"id":2760,"date":"2022-08-12T15:55:24","date_gmt":"2022-08-12T19:55:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deborahblackwell.com\/?p=2760"},"modified":"2022-08-12T15:56:12","modified_gmt":"2022-08-12T19:56:12","slug":"raise-your-hand-if-youre-afraid-of-downtime","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deborahblackwell.com\/?p=2760","title":{"rendered":"Raise Your Hand if You\u2019re Afraid of Downtime\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n

By Deborah Blackwell<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Shortly after dining out with my ex and his wife \u2014 in public, in a crowd, without masks \u2014 Sir Husband and I got the plague. This was the only time in two years we relaxed our vigilance with safety measures, on a mission to make peace with the past<\/a><\/u> to boot, and we got the dreaded coronavirus.<\/p>\n

Flattened with a fever and some less-than-lovely symptoms, I came face-to-face with something I never anticipated.<\/p>\n

Downtime.<\/p>\n

Usually I when I confront a challenge, I persevere, pretend I\u2019m fine, stick to my routine, and get on with my day. This time though, I couldn\u2019t do it. A larger-than-life, gaping hole where life used to happen, engulfed me and sucked me into an empty vortex leaving me to wonder now what?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Downtime is serious business. It\u2019s ignoring the buzzing, pulsating, high-level, staticky frequency that constitutes our outer world \u2014 for me, a relentless grid of perpetual chaos \u2014 and infiltrates our inner system. Relaxing and rejuvenating from life\u2019s daily demands is vital.<\/p>\n

Lying in bed because that\u2019s all I could do, I felt the void to my core. For the first time in a long time, I had to just \u201cbe\u201d, and it scared me. Time stopped. Life stopped. I was off the chaotic grid. What on earth would I do?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

We live in a \u2018how to heal\u2019 world, where self-help is available right at our fingertips. But even with infinite online advice about how to feel better, fix our life, attract our desires, unwind, and go with the flow, this break didn\u2019t feel like Utopia.<\/p>\n

I realized my problem, and it wasn\u2019t just the ongoing pandemic ruling my existence. It\u2019s that I don\u2019t prioritize downtime. Instead, I hold onto pressure like it\u2019s my best friend. I\u2019m the hamster on the wheel running to get it done, make it perfect, hide my flaws, beat the clock, keep up, stay informed, do the right thing, try to feel better, and succeed. The overload, combined with a cultural mindset to persevere, can derail the wheel.<\/p>\n

Last year, my nervous system collapsed after I toughed out a nasty bout of salmonella and a long stint of stress. Life was coming at me from several directions, and I was exhausted. We store our whole history \u2014 good and bad \u2014 inside our mind and body and I had become \u201cworried sick.\u201d And like most of us, I don\u2019t automatically think I have much control over that. But that\u2019s not really the case.<\/p>\n

I had to learn how to coax myself back into a gentle rhythm. Quiet my mind. Relax my body. Slow down my breathing. Quit racing, and start embracing true rest. I had to learn to shift my perception just enough to let the outside world go. Become less triggered and more trusting. I had to stop fighting what I couldn\u2019t control, and quit pushing against what I didn\u2019t like. I had to get comfortable with the right now<\/em> of life. Make choices about how to proceed in my own best interest. Nobody was going to do it for me.<\/p>\n

But I did all of those things as if they were items on a checklist, and forgot the most important part. Downtime. It\u2019s so easy for humans to make things harder than they need to be. When exhausted, overloaded, stressed, dealing with drama, or simply wanting to feel better, stronger, healthier, and happier, all I have to remember is that less is really more.<\/p>\n

So this time, I surrendered. I accepted my downtime discomfort and it didn\u2019t take long to dissolve. In fact shockingly, making space for nothing was great.<\/p>\n

Sir husband and I survived the plague, thank goodness. And I learned that a dynamic determination to persevere isn\u2019t always the answer. But I know what is.<\/p>\n

Got a minute?<\/p>\n

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