{"id":1126,"date":"2021-06-01T18:53:35","date_gmt":"2021-06-01T22:53:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/deborahblackwell.com\/?p=1126"},"modified":"2021-07-17T14:59:12","modified_gmt":"2021-07-17T18:59:12","slug":"resting-is-easier-than-we-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/deborahblackwell.com\/?p=1126","title":{"rendered":"Resting is Easier Than We Think"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/p>\n

By Deborah Blackwell<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cHey, whatcha doing?\u201d always brings this answer from my 20-something middle child.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just chillin\u2019.\u201d <\/p>\n

\u201cDefine chillin\u2019,\u201d  <\/span>I say, assuming it means something different each time.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, playing video games, making music (he is a DJ on the side), just chillin\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took some time before I understood that the word chillin\u2019<\/i> is the Millennial version of rest.<\/i><\/p>\n

That was a bit surprising, my generation grew up thinking rest means to lie down, sleep, or drink some tea in a semi-reclined position on the couch. And it does, sort of. Rest can be inactivity as a way to restore strength. But real rest<\/i> is more than that.<\/p>\n

I only learned recently that rest is not just about the body, it\u2019s also about the mind. <\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand how playing video games\u2014especially the popular more violent ones\u2014can be peaceful and calm. But my kid would tell you his focus is on doing something he loves. He puts himself into an invisible bubble, keeping whatever is outside of him at arm\u2019s length.<\/p>\n

Rest is the ability to feel peace and calm in our headspace, no matter what is going on around us.<\/b><\/p>\n

For some of us, that takes effort. We might feel uncomfortable tuning out the world around us. Maybe it feels boring, or worse, like pressure. We tell ourselves we can rest later, when we finish doing whatever it is we need to do.<\/p>\n

Or, we might think we are resting while we sleep. But we train our nervous systems. When we can\u2019t wind down while we\u2019re awake, our bodies will stay in that state of being \u201con\u201d, even when we sleep.<\/p>\n

Turning down our mental chatter is the key.<\/b><\/p>\n

If our minds don\u2019t quiet, our bodies can\u2019t rest. So how can we take resting to a whole new level?<\/p>\n

First, we can s l o w  <\/span>d o w n.  <\/span><\/b>I used to groan about my son\u2019s and husband\u2019s pace. They walk slow, eat slow, move as if in slow-motion. But when we slow down our body, our mind follows. <\/p>\n

Worry less, accept more.<\/b>  <\/span>Fretting about the little things uses up a lot of physical energy and brain space. There\u2019s an old saying, \u201cIt is what it is,\u201d and it\u2019s true. Trust that life works itself out, because it always does.<\/p>\n

Mind your breath.  <\/span><\/b>Although breathing comes naturally, sometimes we forget to do the one thing that keeps us alive. Inhale, exhale, and notice. When we pay attention to our breathing, it slows down, and we shift our nervous system to a more restful state.<\/p>\n

Smile. <\/b>Did you know the act of smiling automatically soothes our soul? It releases endorphins, and when we feel better, we reduce our stress. When we reduce our stress, we rest.<\/p>\n

I finally realized what my son is doing when he\u2019s chillin\u2019. He\u2019s focusing on himself. This may be the single, most important thing to consider here. The simple act of connecting to ourselves\u2014however feels the best\u2014is rest.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I lie flat on my back on the floor, and I listen for the quiet swish of my cat\u2019s soft paws brushing the carpet as she comes over to see why I\u2019m down at her level. Then I listen to her purring as she sits next to my head. For a minute or two, nothing else matters.<\/p>\n

Rest doesn\u2019t always mean stopping, it\u2019s more about being at peace.<\/b><\/p>\n

And if that means playing a game \u2026 then by all means, just chill.<\/p>\n

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